30 Comments
User's avatar
thatohatsi's avatar

oh baby, I want to cry for you because I've never had to think about this...I've never thought this could be someone's real struggle, and it's soooo valid. I'm so sorry, you don't deserve that, or anyone else named Mbali, it's a beautiful name, and it should treated as such <3

Rebaone's avatar

I relate with this so much . Growing up a lot of people struggled to pronounce my first name , so I opted to introduce myself with my second name ( Lerato ) and it was always met with a lot of judgement too , which I didn’t understand . Then later learnt , how bo Lerato were perceived and all the things said about them . But I detached myself from the name given by my parents and completely disassociated myself from it . Because bo Lerato ke di febe, bo Lerato ba roba dipelo , but you don’t even know so how do I fall in that same category ?

So I understand completely what you mean I’m sorry .

Floresscence's avatar

I hope you healed from all that trauma mama 🤍🤍

Rebaone's avatar

I’ve learnt people are weird , so I let them be but I’ve seen how it created me to be extremely sensitive with how I’m perceived .

I’ll get there one day ♥️

Floresscence's avatar

Thank you so much mama♥️♥️

I highly appreciate the support

palesapulaneee's avatar

I relate because my name is Palesa( flower) and I have had people assume that I mess around because of name. Which is soooooo insane. I'm so sorry that you got bullied just because of your name, such a beautiful name at that. You along with other Mbali's don't deserve that treatment at all❤️‍🩹

Floresscence's avatar

They really ruined our names. But we will heal from this mama🤍🕯️

Khanyisile Ruselo's avatar

Girl omw didn't know it was this bad 😪 sorry . Had me also thinking of the name Palesa and how it to has been used to degrade women who carry that name and reduce them down to their body parts. I don't know if these link somehow but both names mean flower and one thing you learn about the yoni and how it's described is as a flower and I'm wondering if these have a link or tie somehow but it would interesting to unpack.

Faithiieee's avatar

I never once thought of how people can see a “trend” and make it into a stereotype for which they base their assumptions in real life. I’m sorry for that mama🫂

Floresscence's avatar

🤍&🕯️

Thank you

Entle Dlula's avatar

I relate to this 💗

Floresscence's avatar

I am so sorry, Enhle

Ethnographies's avatar

I don’t even use my name anymore. Only those closest to me know it

Joy's avatar

Thank you so much for this article mama, as a Palesa I feel so seen and heard . Being reduced to something you’re not because of your name is very sad and uncomfortable. I had to stop using my first name because I hate the bad PR that comes with being a Palesa . From one Palesa to the other , I hope you find healing 🥹❤️‍🩹

Floresscence's avatar

🤍🤍 We will heal mama

palesapulaneee's avatar

We will heal, from one Palesa, from one Mbali, to another🥹❤️‍🩹

Siyanda Jiyane's avatar

Oh no what they've said to you angel? I'm so sorry you have to defend yourself constantly because of stereotypes that stem from a poor minded society.<3 Mind you Mbalenhle is such a beautiful name, by the way. Ah.

Floresscence's avatar

Thank you so much mama🤍

Mbali's avatar

I grew up as a child that never played outside or involved with "umjolo". Because of my appearance and my behavior i was often thought of a girl that lowkey liked men.

In 10th grade new faces,they were having a conversation about dating and sex, i excluded myself from that conversation. They said to me "wena uyojola uyabonakala and uyafeba akekho njeh umbali ongakwenzi lokho "wena I know udlala ngama doda, especially those with cars".

Wich was the lifestyle they were living was living.

Floresscence's avatar

Ohhh trust me, these are their favourite lines.

m.'s avatar

I feel so seen.

Reo's avatar

Literally why i use any other name besides my actual name because yohh

Floresscence's avatar

Ncese mama. We are more than what society thinks about us🤍

‘nathi :)'s avatar

Oh Mbali, your name is absolutely beautiful. It is a poem. I am sorry that anyone has made you feel it is anything other than that. Thank you for writing and thank you for sharing your experience with the world. 💌

Noluthando's avatar

🫂🫂🫂

Elissa Ndlovu's avatar

❤️‍🩹

Floresscence's avatar

It really would mama

LS 🎀's avatar

Hmm. It never crossed my mind that the negative comments around certain names had real-life implications. It's rather unfortunate because I've always thought Mbalenhle is such a lovely name 🌸